The JOKE conspiracy about the FAKE cabal that will MAKE you want to believe
Words & images © FD 784521/hs
Who really rules the world?
What is the secret force that governs world affairs?
Which global elite cartel wants you dead?
(#conspiracy clickbait)
Humanity is doomed. Civilisation is about to fall. Get ready to have the blinkers removed. The truth is here at last. Not a messiah. Not a robot dystopia. Nor even a conspiracy. The New World Order will not be financed by Jewish bankers, policed by White Hat vigilantes, nor rendered virtuous by transgender eco-elites. Our true masters are neither alien nor reptilian. Neither do they traffic children for sex, pursue liberal media agendas or engage in Cultural-Marxist plots against common decency. They do not require such trifles.
FACT: The New World Order is not new – it’s ancient!
Arrogant, educated elites have long dismissed the idea that humanity is being covertly controlled. What we call ‘history’ is a carefully crafted experiment. A trial. Sacred texts from every culture have hinted at this for millennia. Our distant ancestors knew they were being watched. Nurtured. They gave thanks and were blessed.
How was it that early humans SUDDENLY discovered complex, recursive language? How did we develop art and architecture from scratch? We didn’t! These technologies were gifts. From above.
No, not the gods! They are a hubristic fiction, and ancient aliens a starry-eyed fantasy. The true source of global power lives in plain sight, as it has done for more than ONE HUNDRED MILLION years.
Having survived the cataclysmic meteor impact that took out their land-based cousins, the world’s last dinosaurs not only conquered the sky, they evolved into a biosphere-governing gestalt entity. A planetary consciousness with one overarching mission: to protect the delicate balances that enable life on Earth and, as a result, ensure their own survival.
Wake up! Look up! It’s not a bird. It’s THE bird.
The ancients knew this, yet because – like us – they became greedy and arrogant they were stripped of this insight. Their civilisations were destroyed and almost all archaeological traces removed. The memory of this apocalypse endured only in mythical tales of floods and other catastrophes. The upshot of this ‘great forgetting’ was a species-wide reset. Only now are we starting to remember what was once common knowledge.
To the uninitiated – the sheep, the distracted, the reputedly scientific – the skies are full of a multitude of birds. But the deeper truth can now be revealed.
There is only ONE BIRD!!!!
Following the extinction of their dinosaur brethren, the surviving theropods, (of which the famed T Rex was once a large specimen), slowly evolved hive mind ability. Given its lofty vantage it is no surprise that, over time, the avian super-mind also developed a capacity to oversee and, ultimately, manage all Earthly activity.
However, unlike human empire builders, the One Bird was not obsessed with hierarchical domination. Because, with its pooled vision, it could truly see the bigger picture. The One Bird has known for millions of years that its wellbeing is dependent on the health of the entire biosphere. Thus, its interventions in planetary affairs have always been predicated on the entangled notions of network viability and sustainable balance.
Remember the myth of the benevolent sky god? That’s right, folks…say hello to the One Bird.
Yet, unlike those faux deities and their human masters, the One Bird does not exist in the delusion of dominion. The One Bird’s role is more caretaker/gardener and less owner/occupier. The Earth does not belong to the One Bird.
But be sure of this, when its home is threatened, the One Bird will respond with all the tools at its disposal.
This is why I am able to reveal this ancient secret to you now – because the One Bird does not act alone. With its all-seeing eye and global uber-mind, it is the ultimate biospheric supercomputer, a 100% natural intelligence able to speak every language. SIMULTANEOUSLY! To the ignorant majority, birds chirp and sing. To those of us awake enough to be welcomed into the fold of the new elect, they speak THE TRUTH.
It is a FACT more shocking, more amazing, than anything found in the thought-controlled silos of spirituality and science. Previously, in the human realm, the power of the One Bird has only been alluded to. Modern examples of this coded communication include:
- Daphne du Maurier, Alfred Hitchcock – The Birds
- Alice Coltrane – Lovely Sky Boat
- James Lovelock – Gaia
- Suede – To The Birds
- Jacques Cluzaud, Michel Debats, Jacques Perrin – Le Peuple Migrateur
- Suzanne Simard – Finding The Mother Tree
Whereas humanity has been restricted to mere snippets of the awesome truth, other species have long been part of the One Bird program. Did you know that birds and cats are really IN CAHOOTS???? They only PRETEND to be in a hunter/prey relationship so as to fool us. The ‘kill or be killed’ vision we have of nature is an illusion, designed by the One Bird and signed off on by other species after the last great reset.
Animals have long known that humans are a pest and cannot be trusted. We have betrayed the sacred pact of life on Earth and have therefore been on probation for the last few thousand years. But we have failed…and now the reckoning is due.
This time, however, the One Bird and its formidable army of helpers – on land, under water, and in the soil – are preparing to take EVEN MORE DRASTIC measures.
With the help of a few specially selected humans, a worldwide movement is building. It’s goal: to overthrow Anthro-Fascist hegemony.
Dubbed the Cross-Species Coalition For Revolutionary Progress – but known colloquially to insiders as The Feather Dusters – this (until now) covert cabal will soon put the cutting edge of its epochal plan into action. The great global clean-up is coming, and civilisation as we know it will be swept away.
Far from relying on brute force or disaster-movie scenarios, (like earthquakes or pandemics), the One Bird and its multi-billion strong army will simply accelerate a range of biospheric and anthropic trends, the result of which will be more like suicide than genocide. Put simply, the One Bird’s chief weapons are the manifest myopia and hubris of the Arrogant Ape.
The avian super-mind is such that it will nudge us towards our own destruction. This process is already under way.
- Depopulation agendas
- Falling sperm counts
- Skyrocketing allergies and sundry maladaptive conditions
- Increasing geo-political and social-economic fracture
- Unsustainable resource use (leading to a resource crunch and inevitable conflict)
- The rise of the machines (aka, suicide tech)
- The erosion of good ol’ fashioned common sense
- The fact that we are no longer permitted to beat such sense into our children
- The fact that there has been no good music since 1997
Need I go on? We are OBVIOUSLY!!!! in a spiral of decline. However, because we cannot see past our own Anthro-ego, we have fooled ourselves into thinking that it is right wing banking cartels and/or left wing feminazis plotting to undo and enslave us.
But we will not be enslaved. We will be culled. And, like the blindfolded sheep-asleep we are, we will march to our own demise in a fog of entitlement, convenience, and immature, other-blaming folly.
HUMANS! WAKE UP! BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!
Please understand this. The One Bird does not hate us. It is we who hate ourselves. We are the haters, and as such, we shall reap a dark harvest.
I have been tasked by the birdy overlords to make this known. Not as a prophet, simply as a messenger. Since 2003, I have been an official Feather Duster. As such, I have been made aware of both the intention and the details of their UNSTOPPABLE PLAN. There is more I could say but I am sworn to secrecy. The One Bird may be benevolent, but it is no fool. Neither will it allow human pestilence to render its home unliveable.
- My fellow Feathers and I would like to thank the creator of As If You Were Listening for risking the ire of pseudo-intellectuals and the jihadist intemperance of those committed to fake conspiracy theories. The One Bird will not forget you, Paul.
Some of you will be asking why my winged commanders would licence me to speak to you in this fashion. The answer is simple: because there is still a chance for you to make the cut. Just like the last time humanity was knocked off its perch, the One Bird will permit a portion of our species to survive the looming planetary reset.
I bring GOOD NEWS. But you must be awake to receive it. If you remain asleep, vibrating at a lower frequency and fooled into the pursuit of mainstream ideological and materialist agendas, you will be cast out. The great nest has no room for Anthro-Fascists. All useless limbs of late-capitalist decay will be severed. There is no vaccine against the new paradigm.
Align yourself with the One Bird or die an excruciating, pointless death, surrounded by your trinkets, your 5G towers, and your childlike tribal certainties. Even your cherished crypto currencies cannot BUY THE MERCY of the One Bird. We must each prove ourselves worthy or face the inevitable consequence.
Should you baulk at such apocalyptic talk, ask yourselves who is at fault. The answer, my friends, is in the mirror. We have brought this upon ourselves. The feathery gatekeepers are simply doing what is necessary. Their motto is simple:
MAKING EARTH GREAT AGAIN!
In a cosmos that is mostly dark and dead, this planet is a beacon of living light. The One Bird understands this, which is why it takes its role as guardian of the biosphere seriously. Yet, the winged oneness is humble. It knows it cannot stop meteors or prevent the sun from exploding. It accepts that even its amazing wisdom is limited and ephemeral. This is why it will act soon to protect our small, blue miracle from the destructive hubris of a criminal psychopath hominid.
You can either be complicit in humanity’s suicidal arrogance or you can join me and a few thousand other awakened souls and become one of the Feather Dusters. There is no half-awake, or half-asleep. The second great reset is just around the corner – only this time there will be no forgetting. Humanity 3.0 will join with the One Bird, and billions of other animals, plants, and fungal networks to create the world’s first fully decentralised, truly global omni-consciousness.
People…it is time! You must choose between mainstream lies and ancient truth. You can vote for childish patriotism, you can be afraid of the other and blame them for all that is wrong in the world, you can put your faith in made-up gods and a thousand other simplistic panaceas…or you can wake up to yourself. You are NOT the exception. Humans are NOT divine. We are ALL part of a greater unity.
The One Bird wants you to know this; and asks that you make your choice. Soon.
FACT:
This is not a conspiracy theory.
This is your final warning.
Postscript: Who is FD 784521/hs?
This is my assigned ID code. All members of the Cross Species Coalition For Revolutionary Progress have encrypted identity handles, especially the human agents. This is to protect us from the vilification and violence of the ignorant mainstream and – more importantly – from the extremist conspiracy theory cult, which spreads pernicious Anthro-Fascist lies in the guise of ‘we the people’ rhetoric.
FYI: Should you wish to contact me, or anyone involved with the Feather Dusters, please desist. The One Bird will get in touch with you…should you ever prove yourself worthy of birdy anointment.
As If You Were Listening 